Thrown into the deep end

'Deep Water' is taken from 'Of Men and Mountains' by William O. Douglas, who later became a judge of the US Supreme Court. It tells how he nearly drowned as a boy, and how he overcame his fear of water.

His fear began early. When he was three or four, his father took him to the beach in California. He stood with him in the surf, and the waves knocked him down and swept over him. He was buried in water, his breath was gone, and he was frightened. His father laughed, but there was terror in his heart at the overpowering force of the waves.

When he was ten or eleven, he decided to learn to swim. The Y.M.C.A. pool in Yakima was safe: only two or three feet deep at the shallow end and nine feet at the deep end. He borrowed a pair of water wings and paddled with the other beginners at the shallow end, though he still had an aversion to the water when he was in it alone.

One day he went to the pool when no one else was there. He sat on the side, waiting. Then a big boy of about eighteen came in, a 'bruiser' with hairy legs. He yelled, 'Hi, Skinny! How'd you like to be ducked?' He picked Douglas up and tossed him into the deep end, just for fun.

Douglas landed in a sitting position, swallowed water, and went at once to the bottom. He was frightened, but not yet frightened out of his wits. On the way down he made a plan: when his feet hit the bottom, he would make a big jump, come to the surface, lie flat on it and paddle to the edge.

But he went down and down: nine feet seemed more like ninety. When his feet touched bottom, he sprang upwards with all his strength. He came up slowly, opened his eyes and saw nothing but water, a dirty yellow water. He grew panicky, reached up as if to grab a rope, and his hands clutched only water. Suffocating, he tried to yell, but no sound came out. Then he began to sink again.

He went down three times. Each time, the terror grew; his legs became paralysed, and he could not move them or his arms. Then the struggle stopped. A blankness came over him; he felt calm and peaceful, with no more panic. 'This is what it is like to die,' he thought, and then he lost consciousness. When he woke up, he was lying on his stomach beside the pool, vomiting.