Positive health and life skills

Some people stay healthy under stress. What protects them?

Hardiness (Suzanne Kobasa): a personality pattern with three Cs:

• Commitment: deep involvement in work, family and life;
• Control: a sense of being in charge of one's life;
• Challenge: seeing change as a chance to grow, not a threat.

Life skills help us meet life's demands:

• Assertiveness: expressing feelings and needs clearly and confidently, without aggression; being able to say 'no'.
• Time management: planning and prioritising, and avoiding procrastination (putting off what we need to do).
• Rational thinking: challenging distorted, negative thoughts.
• Improving relationships: listening and communicating well.
• Self-care: healthy eating, sleep and breathing.
• Overcoming unhelpful habits: such as perfectionism and avoidance.

Resilience means bouncing back from difficulties. It can be built through three sources: I HAVE (trusting relationships and support), I AM (a sense of self-worth) and I CAN (skills to solve problems).

Positive health is more than the absence of illness. It includes a healthy body, good relationships, a purpose in life, self-regard, mastery over one's environment, and resilience.

Stress buffers (things that soften stress): a healthy diet, exercise, a positive attitude, optimism (optimists use more problem-focused coping), and social support, which comes in three forms:

• tangible: practical help, like giving a sick friend your notes;
• informational: advice and information;
• emotional: love, care and reassurance.

Interestingly, perceived support (feeling that others are there for you) matters more than the number of people in your network.