Fever, mummies and a swelled barrel

Twain describes the gaining watch as if it were a sick person: it has a 'fever', its 'pulse' goes up, and it races ahead into November while the real month is still October.

He takes it to a watchmaker, who cleans and oils it. Now it runs so slow that Twain feels left behind in last week, like a mummy in a museum.

Another watchmaker says the 'barrel' is 'swelled', and reduces it. Now the watch races wildly for half the day, and crawls for the other half.

On average, it now keeps correct time. But, Twain says drily, a correct average is only a mild virtue in a watch: nobody wants a watch that is right only on average.

All through the essay, Twain gives the watch human qualities: it sickens, has a pulse, enjoys the snow, barks and sneezes. This makes the story much funnier.

Each cure brings a new disease.