The journey back

The same cow. On the way back the sights are just as wonderful. Then she sees the young cow lying dead by the road, hit by a fast vehicle: 'legs spreadeagled, a fixed stare in its lifeless eyes, blood all over'. 'Isn't that the same cow…?' The conductor nods.

Her mood changes. A creature that was lovable a little while ago now looks 'so horrible, so frightening'. 'The memory of the dead cow haunted her.' She no longer wants to look out of the window.

Home at 3.40. She thanks the conductor ('Well, sir, I hope to see you again') and runs home. Her mother is awake, talking to an aunt, 'a real chatterbox'. The aunt asks where she has been, but doesn't wait for an answer.

'Oh, yes!' Her mother is saying: 'How can we possibly know about everything? And even when we do know about something, we often can't understand it completely.' Valli breathes 'Oh, yes!' She has just seen death. She knows about it now, but cannot fully understand it.

The secret smile. The aunt calls her 'a chit of a girl' who pokes her nose into grown-up talk. 'Valli smiled to herself. She didn't want them to understand her smile.' Her journey, and what she learnt, stay her own.